Growing

I have done it twice before so its not like there are any surprises but it still hits me hard when my children reach the age when they have to start big school. I find it pretty hard to bear.

Last week I attended an evening at school for new reception parents ..even though I was a parent to a new starter I was actually there to talk to new parents about the PTA and encourage them to get stuck into fund raising and generally to get involved in the the school. There was I a veteran Mum smugly sat at the back of the room thinking this whole meeting didn’t apply to me as I had been there and done that whilst the Head explained about how important it was for his staff to make new children feel secure in their school environment to a bunch of wide eyed and frankly nervous looking parents.

He continued ” You are effectively handing over your most precious possession to a group of strangers so we need to do out level best to reassure you that they will be safe and happy with us”. I watched as young Mum discreetly wiped a tear from her cheek and her somewhat baffled husband gently put his arm around her shoulder, I’m not sure he understood her distress but I did. I got it. I get it. It hit me that I too would be standing at the classroom door this September handing over one of my 4 most precious possessions into someone else’s care for the best part of their day. And I mean the BEST part. Huge sigh.

This little person who has followed me like a shadow for the last 4 and half years will be entertaining someone else, when he falls over I’m not the one that will be picking him up and soothing him, when he can’t find something he won’t be calling my name, when he struggles to do something for the first time I am not going to be the one to help him out and it hurts my heart to think about. I know this feeling passes and when you see that excited little face come through the classroom door at the end of the day all that anxiety fades but right now its making me sad. Its seems as if I have blinked and he has gone from baby to school boy in a flash. All too soon the school day will be a normal part of his life and for the next however many years this is just the way things are going to be but right now I want to make the most of having him with me. So that’s what I intend to do.

So as we hurtle headlong into the abyss of the state school system I am clinging hold of anytime I have left to journey out and enjoy the company of this super cute and extraordinary little chap I am so lucky to call my Son.

 

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