In Home Newborn Photo Session
I remember when my first daughter was about 2 days old, my husband needed to pop to the shops for supplies so left me alone in the house for a while. It was the first time I had really been alone with her without the aid of a hospital emergency cord or a nearby midwife that I could scream at. To say my anxiety level were high is probably a gross understatement but I didn't let it show. I was by all accounts supposed to know exactly what to expect and out of the 2 of us ( me and my husband) I had by far more knowledge of babies so strictly speaking should have been able to handle this....I mean if I can't cope whilst he was at the shops then we were in seriously deep trouble.
I sat nursing her on the sofa and all was fine, I burped her and she went to sleep in my arms, all was fine, I checked her breathing approximately every 5 seconds, all was fine, then I burst into tears. My husband returned to me weeping and immediately panicked.
"What's wrong?" he asked " Is she ok?"
"She's fine", I replied
"then what is it?" he asked quite disturbed now.
"we've got a baby" I said
"Yes?" he said, a bit confused and probably slightly worried that I had lost the plot.
"like forever" I cried.
The impact of being responsible for this tiny human had only just dawned on me then, the build up to her arrival was all planning, something people who know me will know I handle pretty well, but the reality once she arrived and the weight of responsibility that comes with becoming a parent was and is overwhelming to say the least. The anxiety is off the charts sometimes and at that moment I couldn't see myself enjoying any of her babyhood at all because the fear had gripped me so hard. First babies produce probably the steepest learning curve you will ever endure, and despite everyone telling you there will be highs and lows you never really understand until you're sitting weeping on the sofa staring at your tiny human feeling utterly overwhelmed with love and panic all at the same time.
Second time around can hold new challenges but generally parenting involves less worry and more confidence.
That's definitely true for Ellie and Hector who exuded calm when I arrived at their In Home Newborn Session for baby Charlie. Big sister Ariana was on hand to help out and entertain us with her drawings and stories whilst Charlie dreamt his way through the entire shoot!